My name is Sophia and my life feels like a mess 90 percent of the time. I strive to maintain the image that I have my life neatly put together, but the reality is that I am so far from perfect. I am human, and, rather than seeing this as freedom from the pressure to perform, I push myself harder. Whether working to be the ideal student, employee or friend, I tend toward an overachieving, people pleasing and fast-paced life of always being on the go or with other people. This also led to an unhealthy dependence on social media: between the false illusion of social interaction, approval and the ability to control others’ perceptions of me. I had to delete all my social channels in November of last year.

I am also a follower of Jesus. Since I became a Christian, my relationship with God has been my only place of true rest. While central to who I am, it has always also created other ways to achieve: whether through being the most knowledgeable Bible study leader, the most vulnerable and available to the girls in my small group or choosing to spend my summers in college going on mission trips rather than pursuing internships.

In short, my place of rest became a checklist. A place of talking rather than listening. Doing things for God rather than with Him, scrambling in vain to find worth in my work rather than the One I’m working for.

Throughout college, I clung to verses in the Bible describing God’s beautiful character and the rest He brings, but wasn’t able to taste it because I couldn’t slow down. Through constantly feeling bound to my performance and the opinions of others, I found myself on a trajectory of trying to serve God or His people without resting in the intimate presence of God Himself.

Friends, roughly two weeks ago this all changed. I decided to take a two-week sabbath where I rested, sat in silence and sought the Lord’s face rather than His favor.

I was reminded of His intimate love for me. I was astounded at his magnificence and magnitude. I was overwhelmed with self-worth realizing how God delights in me, not for what I do, but for who I am and how He made me.

So this is why I’m here: to remind you of how deeply loved you are, to let you know you don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love and acceptance and to invite you to join me in tasting how powerful freedom is when we believe it is truly free.

The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31: 2-3